The Exposer- Exposing Online Predators Who Prey on Vulnerable Adults- Expose Yours: EXPOSER@37.COM

How many times has the predator in your life said to you or others:

• it never happened
• it didn't happen that way
• what are you talking about
• you're/she's a liar/ crazy/ nutjob/ wacko
• why can't you move on/ get over it, etc etc
• forgive & forget
  

or outrightly twist time, history and reality just enough to continue to make themselves the victim and refuse to be accountable for what they've done or excuses (i.e. "my partner/ wife/ boss would be very upset if I spoke to you")

First off NO ONE is going to get over the trauma caused by a predator right away.  Sometimes never.  And its abusive to suggest that the victim "move on with their life" until the predator has made amends or done something to repair the relationship. 

NO ONE can or should FORGIVE SOMEONE WHO IS UNREPENTANT! And conducting a smear campaign against their victims to silence them.  No one!

But predators WON'T.  They will attack attack attack to try to silence the truth or reality.  And victims have every right to continue to speak their truth and embrace reality no matter what.  That is true healing. 

"The one thing which is a clear and present threat to the narcissist's reality revisionism is your memory. I am sure you can think back right now and immediately recall how your narcissist has tried to subvert, change, re-invent, disparage, lie and deny your memory of every one of those moments when his true colors were displayed. Those moments when his "interior rot" was exposed. The narcissist is supremely agitated when you dare to voice your recall of events which reflect badly on him. Accusations are hurled at you about how you are "unwilling to let go of the past", you're "unforgiving", cruel and mean-spirited. The hypocrisy of these accusations we'll overlook for now as there is nothing like a narcissist for loving to rehearse your past ad nauseumalways actively working to prevent you from forming "an intelligible narrative" of who she is by her campaign to discredit and invalidate your memories of her bad acts.

"The very thing you need to do the narcissist is desperately working to prevent you from doing.

"The inconsistencies evident in the behaviour of the narcissist -- prior to his discovery -- should never be simply accepted, only to be forgotten. Rather, one must ponder the inconsistencies in behaviour until they become consistent, that is, until the apparently inconsistent behaviour acquires an intelligible narrative that rings true."

"What this requires is that you pay attention to those behaviors which seem inconsistent and which strike you as being wrong or "off". Early on in a relationship you may just accept these as anomalies, but do not forget. I am not suggesting you take an unforgiving and harsh attitude in your relationships. I'm simply saying pay attention to those moments when your inner radar is alerted and don't just dismiss your impressions and observations and flush your memory banks. Your memory is essential in the long term if you are going to make sense of what may not make sense at the time it is happening. If what you've seen or experienced is truly an inconsistent moment the passage of time will testify to that. Over time, though, inconsistencies may very well become consistent in what they reveal. You must be willing to use your memory and re-form the narrative of your relationship with this person when you have enough evidence on hand to do so.

"Do not let another person have the power to force you to revise your memories to suit them.

"Narcissists know your memory and your judgment are your best defense against them which is why they work so hard to disarm you of them."

SOURCE